Category: ivar the boneless

Regular

DOES SOMEBODY WANTS TO HAVE / OWN THIS SIDEBLOG including 2600+ followers and many successful posts? 
I’m no longer interested in this fandom. I can add you as a member, upgrade you as an admin and then I’m deleting myself from the member list.
Contact me via the chat 🙂

I’m an artist, torture is a prerequisite.

I’m an artist, torture is a prerequisite.

Conversation

Hvitserk: At least you blame yourself for your sexual inadequacies.
Ivar the Boneless: No, I blame them. Chicks never help you out. They never tell you what to do. And most of them are self- conscious about that smell factor, and so most of the time they just lay there, frozen like a deer in the headlights, right? Not for nothing, but when a chick goes down on me. I let her know where to go, and what the status is. You gotta handle it like CNN and the Weather Channel – constant updates.

Photo

Photo

Let’s face it, most guys are from the Da…

Let’s face it, most guys are from the Dark Ages. They’re caveman. And they like a woman to be showing her cleavage and to be wearing 8-inch heels, and to be wearing, um, see-through underpants. But… for me, a woman looks best when she is just absolutely naked.

And the moral of the story; appreciate what yo…

And the moral of the story; appreciate what you’ve got, because basically, I’m fantastic!

Conversation

Ivar the Boneless: He [The Seer] told me that in a previous incarnation I was Alexander the Great’s chief eunuch.
Bishop Heahmund: You know what? I believe you.
Ivar the Boneless: To have lived a life alongside one of the greatest commanders of all time! No wonder the military’s in my blood!
Hvitserk: No wonder you’re such a good singer!

Conversation

Bishop Heahmund: Hey, you do not get to choose who lives and who dies.
Ivar the Boneless: Really, because I was under the impression that kind of was my job.

“Let’s put aside our differences, for th…

“Let’s put aside our differences, for the sake of our father. A civil war can only bring tragedy, weaken our family, and set in train a lifetime of revenge obligations for those who manage to survive! Is that really what you all want?”

Regular

Ivar [to Astrid]: Good things happen to people who wait.

Ten minutes later on Vikings: